Wonder.

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My bed of roses

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Howdy. If you were to read my previous post, you were informed that I was on hiatus mode. After what seemed like an eternity, the final examination was a page of history in my life.
I've never felt so relieved in my Form 4 life. I could not deny the fact that being a student leads a hectic lifestyle.
My heart was pounding so hard when the papers were returned back. I desperately wanted an A for every subject, be it A+, A or A-. The dream, however, shattered into pieces. I got my English Paper 1 and I scored 57 out of 85 marks. It indicated that my English is poor. As for a perfectionist, it's not just poor, it's unduly miserable. I tried to convince myself that it's okay. IT'S NOT OKAY. Frankly speaking, it is as if washing your wound with salt. In order to heal your wound, you have to endure the excruciating pain. It is all right not having to score an A in Mandarin and Bahasa Melayu. My grammatical errors are in vast numbers ( for a Form 4 student).

After a few introspection , I really need to improve my English. I mentioned about the Spell It Right spelling competition in the last few entries. Nevertheless, I failed to get into the semi-final. I heard my heart thudding so loud and beating so fast that I felt like getting off the stage as soon as possible. My legs were trembling and my voice was as tiny as an ant. I had the thought to overcome my fear of public speaking. I tried to muster all my courage to voice out confidently, which I failed my attempts. Or was it normal to feel panic when speaking in front of the crowd ? I didn't know. I don't know. I perceived that I was "a proverbial frog under the coconut shell" that most of the Malays were able to spell out those tricky words correctly. I was so ashamed of that.

As a result of that, I need to boost up my confidence and maybe voice out my opinion about someone who is bitching around me. Not to mention pulling up my socks. Life is not always a bed of roses.

Labels: exam

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