Wonder.

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melancholic

Friday, June 14, 2013

Heel ya guys, I was sentimental last night, reminiscing the past, brought up by my guitar teacher. Tears rolling in my pair of eyes, I tried not to speak much, before it was too late - before my tears ran down my cheek. I managed to hold back. Let the tears fade away into their original position, which they shouldn't have exist. I remember the quote : Crying isn't showing your weakness, it's showing you've been strong for too long. It's sort of self-comforting, but it didn't matter because it really meant something to me. I have realized that I had been strong for too long. Camouflage myself so that I look strong, fierce and scaring. My world was once into pieces. If time was to be claimed for healing it, nah. Time passes, things change, me either. No one will ever be the same again, it's how we transform into someone better. Or I called it mature. The wound is still there, or perhaps we call it a scar.
He told me to pray, which I've never actually did before. I clearly knew that prayer makes myself feel better, but it doesn't help much. I knew the rules and regulations of life. To let go. Holding aback directly means torturing yourself. As it's pointless to live a miserable life, why not plastered a smile on your face in everyday life ? As a result, I don't pray. I have had enough self-comforting action that maybe I should try on the self-confronting action. Confront the problem and try to solve'em. To my dismay, I don't have the courage, I'm just a timid and coward girl. Rawr.

Labels: the life

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