A tear of incident.
Friday, February 28, 2014
I always feel miraculous when it comes to February. Don't ask me why and yes I am a weirdo. There are merely 28 (29) days in February. February as for me is like a magical dust sprinkle in my life. Time flies so fast but I can't help it's the end of February. I have 8 more months to go. Freedom is awaiting.
23/2. An incident in my school life which I will never ever forget, happened. It's the story time. I got a friend, let's name
it E (Yes it's you). She tricked me saying she went to a tuition class on Friday but she didn't manage to jot down any note. Out of kindness and sincerity I accepted her request and brought my note to the school in the next morning. The next day, she sat on my seat waiting for me in the morning ( as if she desperately wanted my note, tho she was). I lent her my note without hesitation, because I thought that is what a friend should have done while a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Later on, I was told that E didn't attend the tuition class for ages and of course she didn't pay any fees. She told lies to everyone begging for note to complete her plan. Every time for a different person, but she didn't return the person on time. When I was related to that story, I believed E is really this kind of person, probably the BITCHY one, who is a parasite and deserves no friend. I blamed myself for the clumsiness and stupidity for lending her my note. That was not all. A thought came across me : I oughtta take my belonging back.
My thoughts were partially diaturbed by that incident and of the homework I got to complete. I turned out to be losing concentration during lessons. After some of the acquaintance knew about that incident, they came to my class and laugh at me for my stupidity. Yes, it is LAUGH. Their action of making fun of me made me feel entirely disdainful. I wished I could shut up their mouths (like STFU). They kept on making fun of it, and tears were rolling down my cheeks. I could no longer control myself. It was like everybody in the class were in shock. I sobbed and tried so hard to stop my tears but somehow I could not compose myself. It was hard. Some of those came by and offered their tissues, asking me if I was okay while I was trying to compose myself. Eventually I turned out sobbing more and more when they did so. At the mean time, I just wished I was alone and nobody would bother me. Some times I just hope nobody gives a fuck about this matter. Part of the reason I broke down was that I could not stand their foolish action. And partly it was because trust was broken into pieces. It is not easy to build up the trust between human, it takes months or even years. But by a second, everything will be gone. I am a timid. I cried during a touching movie. I broke down while singing a beautiful song. And then I cried for a friend used-to-be.
I am so exhausted most of the time, seeing a few of my friends approaching me for their own benefits or merely don't want to be alone. I come fed up seeing this. I quieten myself but deep in my heart, you are labeled a close stranger.
Why did I say it was something I won't forget ? Because it was the first time I cried in front of classmates, knowing that I shouldn't. Moral value of the incident - be ignorant and do not trust your close stranger. Some time, I just have to stop being vulnerable. To the devil.
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